Two questions I seemed to get asked a lot now is "How'd you lose the weight" and "Do you feel better for it?".
And I don't tell the whole truth when I answer. I always put it down to exercise and diet, which is true physically. Mentally, it takes a lot to keep up the exercise and diet (which is why I've been cheating too much recently). The truth, which I've never told anyone, is a simple hurtful comment has kept me going mentally. I went on a date with someone a couple of times and was told, "I like you, you're really nice, but I need someone I can love inside and out," (which is funny given that by their own and the media opinion they were not conventionally beautiful and should lose some weight(not my opinion), and I know they moaned afterwards chubby girls don't get some handsome trim man).
As someone who has always tried not to judge anyone on anything other than who they are, and whether they are an idiot, it was a hurtful comment. Knowing my mass is connected to how much I'm valued.
And when people ask if I feel better, I always lie and say "yes". But the reality is, while I've gone from simply hating my body to being neutral about it, I hate myself that I've allowed the media pushed image that to be aesthetically pleasing I must fit within a certain range of weight and muscle, and have been working to that ideal.
And now, I wonder whether I will ever like my body, just because of a hurtful comment and a media obsessed with judging people by the outside on what a few shallow people consider to be pleasing to the eye.
A lesson to be learned here, a nasty comment, no matter how big or small, may cut someone deeper than you ever see. Likewise a kind word may mean the world to someone. It's not up to someone else to tell you what is beautiful. Size, skin colour, gender, religion, fashion style, lifestyle, income, sexuality, age or disability should never be a prerequisite of love, beauty or a persons value.