So things have been hard and then I find out how shitty some peole are. I found out last night the Kola was already dating the other guy before she's even told me she was leaving(bullets leave guns slower). And she has been despite telling me things like she needs to fix herself before she can date, and that we could start again when she got herself sorted out. This is on top of the shit this guy has been sending me forcing me to shut down Facebook etc.
I hit low, but at least now I'm free from this suspended state I had been left in, not knowing if there was a second chance. Guess I should have belived the about bar on my DA profile: No second chances.
I've always liked using a nickname, names are promises. When we're born, our parents name us, and that name is the hope and dreams of what we will be. But then we choose our own names, whether that be to shorten or not shorten our given name, or spell it differently, or to choose a new name entirely.
The part of that was Raven died when Hope died, Galen was stabbed in the back and the blade twisted. I don't know my promise anymore. I'm not sure who I am anymore.
I can't make a promise that I'll be ok, I can't even say that I'll still be alive in a week. What I can say is that I'm trying, and thankfully have many people who have supported me, even when I keep slipping back and end up with a razor blade in my hand.
I've always said my friends are the best of me, and with friends as awesome as you guys, I have a fighting chance.
Special thanks (in no particular order) to: Zellfails
for her kind words, giving me confidence, helping me plan world domination, and for keeping me talking and laughingElandria
for the advice and offer of dressing up in a vicar suitLadyxBoleyn
for talking, typing until her finders went numb, making me smile, and helping me to keep goingjessangel2003
for talking to me in my darkess hours and sharing her secret storiesPatrickMcDonald1
for his kind words and reminding me that I'm not alone
And Hollie, for everything, because you brought a flamethrower into the darkness
Thank You all of you for your kindness, your friendship, your compassion, and your love
I may be walking into darkness, but you guys bring the light.